So hey, am I the only one who gets kind of really annoyed when lesbians who think androgyny is “so hot” go so far as to actively try to date FTMs?
Yeah okay, I understand falling in love with a person before their gender and not staying confined to your label. Totally. That’s how it should be. The lesbians I’m talking about, though, are the ones who are obviously strictly into women sexually and talk about gender identity as if it’s some kind of stylistic choice.
I mean, I’m not trans, and I’ll never fully know what it’s like to be trans, but from what I’ve gathered, being FTM isn’t exactly the easiest thing to go through. Dysphoria sounds like a living hell and transitioning is a painful and lengthy experience for most that ends in suicide a good 40% of the time. If I were trans, I’m pretty sure I’d feel totally disrespected if someone, let alone the person I’m dating, treated my quest to be at peace with my body as some kind of cute accessory.
I had a crush on this girl once. Well, he was introduced to me as a girl, and I was attracted to him as a girl, but it was later revealed to me that he in fact had just begun to identify as male. Immediately I backed off and decided to be his friend instead. Not out of disgust, but because, well… I’m a lesbian. I like girls. I like girls who like that they’re girls. I like tits and curves, vaginas and sweet, sultry lady-voices. All of these are things this guy has but doesn’t want; things that make him hate himself and that he wants to be rid of as soon as possible. Could you even imagine how tremendously unfair of me that would be, to try to date someone when I’m attracted to the very parts of them that prevent them from being themselves? Fuck that.
I see nothing wrong with your post save for one fragment:
transitioning is a painful and lengthy experience for most that ends in suicide a good 40% of the time.
So long as a trans person knows what they’re getting into, transitioning almost ALWAYS make trans people happy. I can’t remember the site, but I do remember the statistic. 80-90 percent of trans people that went through surgery and hormones were content with their results. I’m pretty sure googling that will bring you to multiple sources
What leads to the high suicide rate is transphobia in the form of
- bullying
- harassment in the workplace
- assault
- sexual assault
- prejudiced medical professionals/gatekeeping, which can prevent them from getting hormones
- rejection from friends and loved ones
- being evicted or fired
- etc.
Good points. To clarify, what I meant by “ends in” was the 40-some percent of trans people who don’t even make it to that light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak, and wind up killing themselves before completing transition. I’m sure actually transitioning successfully feels great in the end, but that doesn’t make going through the process in a transphobic world any less difficult, especially if you don’t have the resources for hormones and surgery (if needed).
Am I supposed to read your post as “transtrender” (genderqueer and non-binary people accused of identifying so just to be trendy)? How do you know that these lesbians actually identify as lesbians? or really as fetishizing as you say it is.
As someone who is often assumed to be both lesbian and binary, and sometimes even have to state that I am because I’m not going to like disclose that to bosses or coworkers or acquaintances, I’m a little skeptical of how you know these “lesbians” intentions? Did they really tell you that they actively seek FTMs? Because unless they have, I’m really skeptical.
Yes they have, actually, and trust me, I find it just as unbelievable as you do. I know “these ‘lesbians”’ intentions because these are girls I know both personally and online who state their intentions/identities quite explicitly and who have a very apparent ignorance/disregard for what being trans* even means (some of them I’ve actually had to explain the concept of gender binary to). I couldn’t even tell you how many women I’ve seen claiming to be in love and yet still refusing to use their partners’ preferred pronouns.
I’m really not trying to police people’s identities here… people can identify as whatever they want for whatever reasons they want. I’m just trying to shed a critical light on the flawed but seemingly trending idea of dating FTMs because they’re “man lite” or “like a boy, but not”. It’s not fair to people who want nothing more than to be seen as male.
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So hey, am I the only one who gets kind of really annoyed when lesbians who think androgyny is “so hot” go so far as to actively try to date FTMs?
Yeah okay, I understand falling in love with a person before their gender and not staying confined to your label. Totally. That’s how it should be. The lesbians I’m talking about, though, are the ones who are obviously strictly into women sexually and talk about gender identity as if it’s some kind of stylistic choice.
I mean, I’m not trans, and I’ll never fully know what it’s like to be trans, but from what I’ve gathered, being FTM isn’t exactly the easiest thing to go through. Dysphoria sounds like a living hell and transitioning is a painful and lengthy experience for most that ends in suicide a good 40% of the time. If I were trans, I’m pretty sure I’d feel totally disrespected if someone, let alone the person I’m dating, treated my quest to be at peace with my body as some kind of cute accessory.
I had a crush on this girl once. Well, he was introduced to me as a girl, and I was attracted to him as a girl, but it was later revealed to me that he in fact had just begun to identify as male. Immediately I backed off and decided to be his friend instead. Not out of disgust, but because, well… I’m a lesbian. I like girls. I like girls who like that they’re girls. I like tits and curves, vaginas and sweet, sultry lady-voices. All of these are things this guy has but doesn’t want; things that make him hate himself and that he wants to be rid of as soon as possible. Could you even imagine how tremendously unfair of me that would be, to try to date someone when I’m attracted to the very parts of them that prevent them from being themselves? Fuck that.
I see nothing wrong with your post save for one fragment:
transitioning is a painful and lengthy experience for most that ends in suicide a good 40% of the time.
So long as a trans person knows what they’re getting into, transitioning almost ALWAYS make trans people happy. I can’t remember the site, but I do remember the statistic. 80-90 percent of trans people that went through surgery and hormones were content with their results. I’m pretty sure googling that will bring you to multiple sources
What leads to the high suicide rate is transphobia in the form of
- bullying
- harassment in the workplace
- assault
- sexual assault
- prejudiced medical professionals/gatekeeping, which can prevent them from getting hormones
- rejection from friends and loved ones
- being evicted or fired
- etc.
Good points. To clarify, what I meant by “ends in” was the 40-some percent of trans people who don’t even make it to that light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak, and wind up killing themselves before completing transition. I’m sure actually transitioning successfully feels great in the end, but that doesn’t make going through the process in a transphobic world any less difficult, especially if you don’t have the resources for hormones and surgery (if needed).
They say running away from home doesn’t solve anything but my relationship with my mom has only gotten better since I left.
They say drugs will ruin your life but hallucinogens made me realize what a foolish decision killing myself would be.
They say you need college to succeed but I’m learning and creating more now than I ever did in school.
I’m finally decently happy with my life now, more than I’ve ever been, and I owe it all to not doing what society told me.
Interesting.
{
really really really anxious for no reason holla
I don’t even know what color my eyes are anymore wtf
wow i'm bored hey
- 1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?
- 2. You talked to an ex today, correct?
- 3. Have you taken someones virginity?
- 4. Is trust a big issue for you?
- 5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?
- 6. What are you excited for?
- 7. What happened tonight?
- 8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?
- 9. Is confidence cute?
- 10. What is the last beverage you had?
- 11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?
- 12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?
- 13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?
- 14. What are you going to spend money on next?
- 15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?
- 16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?
- 17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?
- 18. The last time you felt broken?
- 19. Have you had sex today?
- 20. Are you starting to realize anything?
- 21. Are you in a good mood?
- 22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?
- 23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?
- 24. What do you want right this second?
- 25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?
- 26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?
- 27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?
- 28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?
- 29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?
- 30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?
- 31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?
- 32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?
- 33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?
- 34. Listening to?
- 35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?
- 36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?
- 37. Do you believe in love at first sight?
- 38. Who did you last call?
- 39. Who was the last person you danced with?
- 40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?
- 41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?
- 42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?
- 43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?
- 44. Do you tan in the nude?
- 45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?
- 46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?
- 47. Who was the last person to call you?
- 48. Do you sing in the shower?
- 49. Do you dance in the car?
- 50. Ever used a bow and arrow?
- 51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
- 52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?
- 53. Is Christmas stressful?
- 54. Ever eat a pierogi?
- 55. Favorite type of fruit pie?
- 56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
- 57. Do you believe in ghosts?
- 58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
- 59. Take a vitamin daily?
- 60. Wear slippers?
- 61. Wear a bath robe?
- 62. What do you wear to bed?
- 63. First concert?
- 64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
- 65. Nike or Adidas?
- 66. Cheetos Or Fritos?
- 67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
- 68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?
- 69. Ever take dance lessons?
- 70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
- 71. Can you curl your tongue?
- 72. Ever won a spelling bee?
- 73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
- 74. What is your favorite book?
- 75. Do you study better with or without music?
- 76. Regularly burn incense?
- 77. Ever been in love?
- 78. Who would you like to see in concert?
- 79. What was the last concert you saw?
- 80. Hot tea or cold tea?
- 81. Tea or coffee?
- 82. Favorite type of cookie?
- 83. Can you swim well?
- 84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
- 85. Are you patient?
- 86. DJ or band, at a wedding?
- 87. Ever won a contest?
- 88. Ever have plastic surgery?
- 89. Which are better black or green olives?
- 90. Opinions on sex before marriage?
- 91. Best room for a fireplace?
- 92. Do you want to get married?
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Several decades ago, political activists on the religious right began to put together an “ideology machine”. Home schooling was a big part of the plan. The idea was to breed and “train up” an army of culture warriors. We now are faced with the consequences of their actions, some of which are quite disturbing.
According to the Department of Education, the home schooling student population doubled in between 1999 and 2007, to 1.5 million students, and there is reason to think the growth has continued. Though families opt to home school for many different reasons, a large part of the growth has come from Christian fundamentalist sects. Children in that first wave are now old enough to talk about their experiences. In many cases, what they have to say is quite alarming.
When he was growing up in California, Ryan Lee Stollar was a stellar home schooling student. His oratory skills at got him invited to home schooling conferences around the country, where he debated public policy and spread the word about the “virtues” of an authentically Christian home school education.
Now 28, looking back on his childhood, it all seems like a delusion. As Stollar explains:
“The Christian home school subculture isn’t a children-first movement. It is, for all intents and purposes, an ideology-first movement. There is a massive, well-oiled machine of ideology that is churning out soldiers for the culture war. Home schooling is both the breeding ground – literally, when you consider the Quiverfull concept – and the training ground for this machinery. I say this as someone who was raised in that world.”
Too frequently, Stollar says, the consequences of putting ideology over children include anxiety, depression, distrust of authority, and issues around sexuality. This is evident from the testimonials that appear on Home schoolers Anonymous, the website that Stollar established, along with several partners.
I imagine if Yahoo successfully ruins tumblr like it says it will, my reaction will be similar to when my GaiaOnline account got hacked… grief upon letting go of a favorite website that taught me a lot, accompanied by a calming sense of having my life back.
I woke up sick and sad that I’m broke but I just remembered I made $20 doing yard work for Iris’ grandma yesterday which means I can buy a burrito and not starve today YESSSS
you don’t ever ask a trans* person their birth name
you don’t ever ask a trans* person their birth name
you don’t ever ask a trans* person their birth name
